


O Holy Night

by Geoduck



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8463340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geoduck/pseuds/Geoduck
Summary: Asuka is not happy with life in Tokyo-3, but something about the Christmas season just makes everything worse. 'All the Christmas songs talk about angels, don't they?'





	

Asuka Langley Sohryu felt profoundly unmotivated.

Being the smartest, being the genius, being the top of her class had always come easy to her. _Na, klar._ It was the natural order of things.

But that was in Germany.

In Japan, because of her difficulty reading kanji, it simply wasn't **possible** for her to be the best.

Of course, unlike her classmates, Asuka didn't have a reason to cram and study. She didn't have to worry about getting into high school in the years ahead. So why bother? After all, what need would there be of that for someone who had already attended the University of Bonn and the Max-Planck-Institut?

The conclusion was obvious. Why stress about an "A" when a "C" was good enough? The life of the second child, surrounded by idiots and weirdos was stressful enough without added scholastic-induced stress.

Asuka did have quiet twinges of guilt about having this kind of a lackadaisical attitude, so she tried to continue rationalizing the idea. 'Misato might not approve,' she thought, 'but that's only because she's a control freak. She just loves to have all the EVA pilots under her thumb. And Shinji...well, Shinji would be too spineless to even come up with an idea like intentionally slacking off. Since deliberately avoiding responsibility for personal gain is that last thing that Shinji would ever do, it must be right.' QED.

'And Kaji would certainly approve. He'd say something like, "You're right, Asuka, why wear yourself out for something that doesn't matter in the end?" Of course he would. Kaji is smart.' Okay, that worked. Conscience silenced.

So, unmotivated as she was, when she was at school, she spent long periods disconnected from the rest of the world.

Even...

"Asuka?"

Even when...

"Asuka?"

Even when people talked directly to her.

"Hello? Asuka? Are you listening?"

From the bench she sat on outside the school's front doors, Asuka looked up to the somewhat anxious face of her friend, the class representative.

"Oh, Hikari. Sorry, I wasn't paying attention just now."

Hikari's vaguely worried expression changed to a smile. "Oh, that's okay. I guess that you Eva pilots have a lot to think about sometimes."

Asuka shrugged slightly, feeling mildly embarrassed. "Well, naturally that IS true, but actually this time I wasn't thinking about anything like that. Confidentially," she giggled, somewhat thrilled to be sharing a personal secret, "I was just thinking about Kaji."

"Oh, Kaji. He's that older guy that you like, right?"

Asuka frowned, slightly put-out. "I wouldn't call him older. He's only 29."

"Well..." Hikari then hesitated, realizing that anything she might say on the subject could potentially offend her oft-touchy friend. "...okay, I guess you're right. So have you ever gone out with him?"

Asuka shook her head. "Not really, no. I've gone shopping with him and eaten out a couple of times, but that was more as a guardian than as a date. I think... I think he just doesn't take me seriously," she brooded aloud.

"You know," Hikari began, unconsciously imitating the mannerisms her older sisters took when giving her advice, "you've got the opportunity coming up to ask him out on a real date."

Asuka looked up, silently asking Hikari to continue.

Hikari grinned. "Christmas, silly. Everybody knows you only ask somebody out on a Christmas date if you're serious."

Asuka was agog. "You mean, in Japan, people go on DATES on Christmas?"

"It's...it's a western holiday," Hikari said defensively. "Isn't it basically the same in Germany?"

Asuka shook her head decisively. "No, Hikari, Christmas is a RELIGIOUS holiday. We got to church and give gifts. That's all that Christmas is." She giggled slightly. "Dating on Christmas... you don't know how weird that sounds."

Hikari looked worried. "I didn't mean to offend you, Asuka... I didn't realize _you_ were religious."

Asuka's face was the picture of incredulity. "Religious? Me? _Blödsinn!_ Who believes in God anymore? I only went to Christmas Mass because mother forced me to." Asuka shrugged. "It's just...strange to hear what you Japanese did to our holiday."

This made Hikari feel more uncomfortable rather than less. She tried to move the conversation on. "Well, Kaji **is** Japanese. Maybe you **should** ask him out."

Asuka shrugged. "Eh, I don't think so. Not really my style. I'll come up with something else."

Despite her words, however, Asuka's mind was far from thoughts of Kaji and dating. All she could think about was how tired she remembered being the first time she went to midnight mass.

* * *

Misato woke up. Headache, gritty eyes, horrible taste in her mouth.

Same way she woke up every morning for about the past ten years.

One quick hair-of-the-dog later (Misato's First Law: It's always a good idea to set a beer beside your bed to get you going in the morning!) and she was ready and raring to face another day.

She moved to the kitchen to replenish her beer supply (Misato's Second law: One beer is enough to get you out of bed, but you need two beers to KEEP you going until late afternoon...or lunch, at least.) And she saw the unusual sight of Asuka, reading a book.

It hadn't always been unusual. Misato remembered the younger girl she had briefly met back in Germany who was never seen without a book in her hand and another half-dozen in her backpack. A little girl holding her own among college students almost twice her age. But that was an entirely different world. Ever since she had come to Tokyo-3, the teenager's time at home was usually spent either in front of the television, on the telephone, or simply out of sight. 'And the time she spends interacting with other people?' Misato thought. 'Fighting with Shinji or fawning over Kaji. That's it.'

With all the stealthiness she could muster, Misato sneaked up behind the girl and spied over her shoulder. "Well, well, good morning to you, Asuka. What's so interesting?" she said playfully.

Out of shock, Asuka stiffened her back and jumped slightly, then moved to slam the book closed. Misato, however, was prepared, and had placed her hand on the page where the girl had been reading. "What is this...the phone directory?"

"Uh, yeah, just looking up a number."

"Of what?" Misato snatched the book out of Asuka's grip and opened it back up. "Churches? You're looking for a church?" Misato asked, as she sidled over to the refrigerator.

"No...not really."

Misato's mind did a quick mental recall of Asuka's personal dossier, while her right hand extraconsciously opened the refrigerator, retrieved a Yebisu, and cracked the can open in one finessed, practiced movement.

"I didn't think you were a churchgoer...are you interested in going?" Misato said before inhaling the can's contents.

Asuka scooted her chair away from the table and stood up. "No. I'm not interested in anything like that."

Now adequately fortified with alcohol, Misato's brain remembered finer details of what she had previously read about Asuka. "I seem to recall that your mother was Catholic, wasn't she?"

"Misato...don't do this."

Something connected in Misato's brain. "Christmas. You were looking for a church to go to mass for Chistmas."

Asuka was aghast at how quickly Misato had come to the point. Not that she had actually REALLY planned on going to midnight mass. It was just a whim. Looking in the phone book was meant to be more an experiment in curiousity than anything else. A _Gedankenexperiment_...thought experiment. "No, not really."

"You need a ride? I can drive you." Misato glanced at the phone book. "Cathedral of St. Peter Baptist, eh? Oh, that's right next to downtown. Now this Christmas thing, is it the night before, or the day of? Or both?"

"Day before. But I-I'm not going, Misato. I just looked it up because I didn't know if there WAS a church here. I was curious, that's all."

"Hmm...I'm off-duty that night, but I am on-call. I'd better arrange a taxi for you, just in case."

"ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? I'M NOT GOING!"

There was a brief calm in the kitchen after this sudden outburst. Finally, Misato silently disposed of her empty can, then turned around to face the girl.

"Listen, Asuka, if you really don't want to go, don't go. Nobody's putting a gun to your head and forcing you to. I know you're unfamiliar with Tokyo-3, and I was just offering to help you out if that's what you wanted. You've had a hard time fitting in to daily life since you got here. I thought I'd help you out in doing something you wanted. If I was wrong, I'm sorry, but there's no need for you to bite my head off about it."

"I don't want your help. I don't need it." Asuka was still fuming. "Stop treating me like a kid, Misato."

"Very well, Asuka. I'll speak to you like an adult. I know you a lot better than you think I do, and frankly, I'm getting a bit concerned. You're becoming isolated and anti-social. Not only that, but your grades are still barely adequate, and far below the potential I know you have. Speaking as your superior officer, **Pilot** Sohryu, I suggest you make an effort to improve your attitude if you wish to remain a productive member of NERV."

"You think I'M antisocial? What about Shinji? What about Wondergirl?"

Misato's voice became a bit louder, her words more rapid. "This is not about Shinji or Rei, Asuka. Shinji is a shy boy who's making an actual effort to connect to others. And Rei may be quiet and introverted, but she does not act that way to hide from people nor to lash out at others as you seem to be doing."

Against her will, Asuka's eyes seemed to be filling with tears. "M-Misato."

" **You** were the one who asked to be treated like an adult, Asuka. I'm giving you an objective assessment of your psychological health in an adult, professional manner. Can you handle it?"

Asuka ducked her head, dashed past Misato (bowling over Pen-Pen in the process) and ran into her room, sliding her door closed with a loud crack.

'Yeah, I'm sure that helped. Great work, major,' Misato thought to herself. 'Shit. If Ritsuko finds out about this, she's going to kill me.'

She began to test Misato's third law: Another beer will always ease the pain.

* * *

"I'm home."

No answer. Shinji expected that. If you expect nothing (or less than nothing), you'll rarely be disappointed.

'After all, Misato's sure to be at work and Asuka doesn't care if I'm dead or alive.'

Leaving his shoes at the entryway, Shinji made his way into the apartment.

"Aw no..." The kitchen was a mess again. 'When did this happen? I just cleaned up this morning.'

Shinji counted the empty cans. 'How many beers did she drink today? Well, counting at least one for Pen-Pen...that's still too many.'

"She's gonna get fired if she comes to work drunk," he said out loud.

'Well, maybe she didn't drink them all! Maybe Kaji...'

Kaji was out of town.

'Or Ritsuko...'

Ritsuko never came over in the morning.

'...Asuka?'

"So either Misato went to work drunk, or Asuka has been drinking her beers," Shinji continued his line of thinking out loud.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to know what was the right answer. He thought oh-so-briefly about actually asking Asuka, but rejected that idea in a moment of sanity.

Asuka's door cut off Shinji's deliberations.

"Oh. You." She had a beer can, presumably empty, in her hand. That solved that particular mystery. "WonderBOY."

"H-hi, Asuka. I'm home."

"So. Gonna squeal on me?"

"For what?"

"DUH, Shinji. For drinking her beers."

Shinji's mind raced...what would not cause her to explode? "Uh, no."

"Oh. How KIND of you." Asuka's command of sarcasm was less than subtle.

"Um...just..."

Asuka's eyes were steely. "What."

"Y-you shouldn't be drinking. The drinking age is 20."

"Oh. It isn't in Germany."

"W-well, it is here. Sorry."

Asuka continued to stare him down. "Expectin' me to thank you for anything?"

"Uh, no." Shinji moved as if to proceed on his way, but he couldn't remember what that way was.

Asuka watched his confused lack of movement for second or two before shutting her door abruptly closed. He thought he heard her say "idiot," but he wasn't positive.

'Two Misatos. That's all I need.'

* * *

Hikari sighed. Another day, another lunchtime, another crisis or whatever for Asuka.

Hikari liked Asuka. Really. She did. She was...fun. And she was cool. And...

She couldn't explain exactly why she liked Asuka. And she definitely couldn't explain why she put up with the moodiness that she wouldn't tolerate in anybody else, or even in herself for that matter.

"It's stupid."

Hikari looked up, clearly surprised at Asuka's sudden outburst.

"It's stupid. Why is Christmas supposed to be such a big deal, anyways?"

"Well, isn't it the birthday of Jesus or something?"

Asuka scoffed. "But it almost certainly isn't. I mean, assuming that he actually existed, the odds of his birthday being December 25th are really, really remote. The early Christians just took over the old pagan celebrations and turned them into a holiday of their own. Stupid. To make such a big deal over one random day in the calendar is just ridiculous."

"Well...tradition?"

"Tradition. Yeah, can't break tradition. Gotta go to mass. Gotta stand up, kneel down, stand up, kneel down, sit down. Eat the host, light a candle. Or, instead, I could sit around the apartment staring at idiot-boy all night. Such attractive options. I'm tempted to go just to break the monotony."

"That's a possibility." Hikari really hated these moods. Asuka would rant but wouldn't listen to anyone's advice, even if she were the one who solicited it. Asuka was a **very** high-maintenance friend.

* * *

"Mommy... it's so late. Where are we going?"

"Church, Asuka."

"Church? Why? What do we do at church?"

"You'll see, Asuka. You'll see."

Church was amazing. All the candles... the lights sparkled against stained glass and altars decorated with gold leaf. People dressed in their finest clothes, but wrapped in wool overcoats and scarves, since the building was always cold.

It was complicated. The man in front, the priest, would say something, then all the people around her would say something back. Her mother knew what to say, but Asuka didn't. So she did what she was told: she sat and watched.

It was very, very complicated. There were prayers, and talking about the body and blood of Jesus. And people went to the front to eat something and drink a little bit of wine. Asuka didn't go up. Neither did Mommy.

It lasted a long time and they were very late as they drove home. Strangely, Asuka hadn't fallen asleep.

"Mommy? Are we going to church again?"

"Not until next Christmas, dear."

"Why did we go today? I thought we were...atheists." Asuka pronounced the unfamiliar word rather carefully.

Her mother smiled almost condescendingly. "You'll understand when you're older."

Asuka knew a brush-off when she heard one. She also knew her mother's brush-offs were final.

She fell asleep before they got home.

* * *

"Yeah, Mom. Every year. Midnight mass. Nothing else. No reason ever given."

Asuka looked around. Hikari was gone. Not a surprise.

'Maybe I should be nicer to her. She's good to me. She's not like HIM.'

The venomous thought was inspired by Shinji's approach. 'Suck-up, wimp, pervert, jerk...'

"Hi, Asuka. How's it going," he asked, too cheerfully.

"Misato asked you to talk to me. 'Cheer Asuka up. She's feeling depressed.'"

"Uh..."

"Leave me alone, Shinji."

"Hey, you know, Hikari was telling me about her Christmas plans, and that you were excited."

"Liar. Hikari never said that."

"Well, she said that she was going to invite you over, and I assumed."

"You've got bad intelligence. I don't know why you're being so persistent about this," Asuka growled, "but you're getting annoying."

"Well I... you don't have to act like this, you know. I'm just trying to be nice."

"Yeah, Shinji. Not good, not bad, just nice. Well, I'm not nice, Shinji. I'm me."

Asuka was mildly surprised to see Shinji getting angry at this. 'Well, he should be. I laid it on thick this time.'

He appeared to calm himself down, then sat beside her, more determined than he generally was. "Tell me about Christmas in Germany."

"WHAT?"

"You want somebody to listen to you, right? Tell me about Christmas in Germany."

Asuka looked insulted. "You think that's it? You think that's all you need to do do turn me into 'Happy Asuka?' I'm supposed to be that simple-minded?"

Shinji's resolve melted away. "No... I just... I don't know anything about Germany, and I thought..." He was regretting, not for the first or last time, following Major Katsuragi's orders.

Asuka glared at Shinji. Glaring was not generally new to him, but the particular look in her eyes was. This was something he hadn't seen before. Something more like hatred. "Oh. You want to hear about Germany now. How nice. You and Misato. All you ever wanted to do since I came here was to fix me. You want to fit me in your own little neat and tidy Japanese way of life." Asuka cocked her head and mocked the voice of their guardian. "'In Japan the needs of others come before one's own needs.' What a load of crap. You only wanted an excuse to look down on the foreigner girl."

Shinji made as if to protest, but was silenced by her continued glare. "I'm supposed to conform? I'm supposed to become a good little Japanese girl? You've never even for a second had the slightest bit of interest in where I come from." Asuka lifted up her arms dramatically. "And now, the great Third Child condescends to ask me a question about it?" Asuka brought her arms down and got very close to Shinji's face. "Well, go to hell, Shinji Ikari. Misato, too. And leave me alone!"

Asuka stalked off, her arms held stiffly at her sides, her hands clenched so hard as fists that her knuckles were white. Shinji was certain she was crying, but couldn't see it for certain.

He was frozen in position, able only to watch Asuka walk away, until the girl was out of sight. This was bad. Worse than anything she had said or done to him before. There had been arguments and fights before, but this... Dammit.

"Geez, what's with her, anyway? Are you okay, Shinji?" came the voice of a somewhat cowed Kensuke.

Shinji nodded.

"She really is a devil. I wonder if it's her time of..." Without a second thought, Shinji turned and slapped Kensuke on the side of the head, causing his glasses to fly off and land on the ground a few feet away.

Kensuke was so shocked he almost choked trying to speak. "Shinji...why?"

Shinji, equally shocked, looked at his hand as if it were a foreign entity. "Sorry...Kensuke. I'm sorry. I didn't mean...I'm sorry."

Shinji ran.

'The only thing I'm good at is causing pain.

'I fight the angels, and innocent people get hurt. I think some even get killed. The people at NERV don't tell me about it, but I'm sure it's true. I wonder if they're keeping track of all the people I've killed? Ten, twenty, hundreds?

'Rei tries to protect me and almost dies. Misato, Ritsuko, the others...they've all suffered because of me.

'How many times have I almost killed my friends?

'Even my words rip people up. I try to help Asuka, and I hurt her.

'Do I give up?

'Do I give up?

'Why shouldn't I give up?'

"Stupid," he said under his breath.

* * *

Once upon a time, Shinji thought he was destined to be alone forever. That possibility began to feel more and more real, now.

After school, it was come home, eat, go to NERV. Go home, maybe take a bath, go to sleep.

He and Asuka went separate ways to school, to NERV, to home. It was an unspoken agreement not to contact each other in any way.

Misato's hours rarely coincided with the children. Rather than the one big happy family that Misato pictured in her mind (and Ritsuko derided), it was three single people who happened to share the same living quarters.

"I'm going to mass."

Misato looked up. Asuka was in her robe, obviously just out of the shower.

"Come again?"

"I'm going to mass tonight. I just thought I'd let you know. Since I'm on call."

"Right. Do you need a ride, Asuka?"

"No. I've planned my own transportation."

Misato nodded. "All right. You have your phone with you?"

"Yes."

"Good. Be back as quickly as you can."

Asuka turned around smartly and went to her room.

'Well, at least she's talking again. Businesslike is better than not talking at all.'

* * *

Shinji realized that both Asuka and Misato were masters of the uncomfortable pause. They used silence aggresively, like a weapon. That's why he avoided the outer rooms of the apartment. Even though Asuka didn't appear to be yelling anymore.

She just sat there, in her dark green dress. Waiting. And not talking.

He kept his door cracked, just in case the mood lightened. He could come out and they could be happy again and...

Stupid.

'Just leave her alone. That's all you can do. You can't be blamed if you leave her alone.'

Shinji put on his headphones.

* * *

Asuka looked at her watch. The taxi... it should be here by now. But the door buzzer refused to go off.

Misato sat in the kitchen, not drinking. Just sitting with Pen-Pen. And Shinji...sitting in his room, spying on her, as usual. Watching the freak of nature going to an obselete religious ceremony for no good reason whatsoever.

* * *

'Ritsuko is right. I'm lousy at this.'

She smirked. 'Well, this parental responsibility has been the best birth control I've ever had. No way in hell I'll have kids after these past few days.'

The phone rang.

Trust NERV to call at the most interesting times.

* * *

"Asuka? I'm sorry, there's been a change of plans. Shinji? You too."

"What?"

"We're on alert. We think we've found the next angel."

Asuka closed her eyes and almost laughed. "Of course. How perfect. Well, I never liked going to church anyway."

* * *

Misato briefed the two on the drive over. "They didn't give me the full details, but apparently, satellite scanners have detected various anomalies in the earth's magnetic field around Asia. In all likelihood it's either an unexplained natural phenomenon, or some kind of sensor failure."

"Then why are we going to NERV?" came Asuka's tight-lipped response.

"Because the Magi calculate a 2 percent chance that it could be the next angel. And that's good enough of a chance for the two of you to get into your EVAs and prepare for an attack."

"Two percent chance...that seems pretty low."

"Yes it is. But when you consider what we've got to lose, we need to protect that two percent chance with everything we've got."

"Which doesn't include Wondergirl, apparently. I don't see her around."

Misato sighed. She knew this would come up. "Rei had a particularly gruelling time in today's synch tests. She's resting. If necessary, we'll wake her up and get her ready. That's part of our contingency plans."

"Convenient."

The rest of the drive consisted of the silence to which they had all become accustomed..

* * *

Waiting.

"Um...Hyuuga?"

"No change yet, Shinji. We'll tell you if something happens."

"Al-all right."

From a point of view of strict physical comfort, the Eva plugs were a great place to wait for a long time. The LCL was warm and soft. Only the rather odd smell kept it from being ideal.

From a psychological point of view, the waiting was maddening.

"Shinji."

"Is that you, Asuka?"

"Who do you think it is? Would you stop asking if there's anything going on? You're starting to drive me nuts."

"S-sorry, Asuka. I just..."

"You're sorry? For what? It's not like YOU had any plans tonight."

"I'm...I'm just sorry."

"Just be quiet, Shinji. I don't want to hear you anymore."

* * *

You couldn't wear a watch in the LCL, so it wasn't easy to tell how much time passed. To Asuka, it seemed like hours.

"Well, by now the show is over, I suppose."

"The show, Asuka?" came Hyuuga's voice.

"Of course. The big annual show. Lots of good music. 'Hark the Herald Angels Sing,' for instance. Funny, singing a song about an angel. Ironic, almost."

"If you say so, Asuka."

"Of course. Plus 'Joy to the World.' 'And heaven and angels sing...' They all sing about angels, don't they? There's hardly a Christmas song around that doesn't talk about angels, is there?"

"Asuka," Misato's voice cut in.

"Why should we wait for angels here? There's one on every Christmas tree in the world."

"Okay, Asuka, cut the comedy. I don't want chatter on this line, understood."

_"Jawohl, Frau Major!"_

Misato cringed. 'She's cracking. She's going to be useless as a pilot at this rate.'

The waiting continued.

* * *

"Damn."

That one was unmistakable.

Shinji had thought that he heard Asuka speaking in her plug, even after Misato's 'no chatter' edict, but he hadn't been certain.

"Damn."

'No. Say nothing. You can't hurt them if you don't talk.'

"Well, Mom, it looks like you win again. I'm not going to make it tonight, and I feel guilty. I don't know why, but I still feel guilty."

'Say nothing.'

"Why didn't you tell me? Why did we go? Why every year? Were you just playing a game with my mind? Did YOUR mother force you to do it? Was this all a multi-generational game of pass-it-along?"

'But I have to say something. I can't leave her like that.'

"You win, Mom. I hope you're happy. I hope you enjoy it."

At the control panels, Misato covered her face with her hands. This was disaster. 'When Ritsuko reads the transcripts of this incident, they'll never let Asuka near an EVA again. And with only two viable pilots, NERV will be in serious trouble. And it's all my own damn fault.'

Shinji closed his eyes. 'It can't get any worse than this. It can't get any worse than this. I have to do this. I have to.' "A-Asuka?"

She was silent for a long time. "What?" she asked at last.

"I've been learning something...and I'm wondering if I'm doing it right."

"I... What do you mean?"

"I mean, uh, this." He took two deep breaths and began.

" _Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht_ ," he sang in his light tenor. He felt like the entire world was watching him, but still continued.

" _Alles schlaft, einsam wacht; nur das traute hochheilige Paar_." The melody was familiar, even in a country where Christianity was not the religion of choice. Who doesn't know 'Silent Night,' after all?

" _Holder Knabe im lokkigem Haar_." The tricky part was learning the German words. He hoped he had them right. But if they weren't...well, he wouldn't think about that.

" _Schlaf im himmlischer Ruh'. Schlaf im himmlischer Ruh'_." He couldn't see any of their faces inside the plug, but still closed his eyes. To hear the silence as he sang was humiliation itself. 'It can't get any worse...but it can get better.'

He stopped singing. He knew there were other verses to the song, but he hadn't been able to learn them. Memorization was always difficult for him.

He waited for Asuka's response, but heard nothing but breathing. Then, "Shinji..."

"Yeah," he said quietly.

"The second line, you said ' _schlaft_.' It's supposed to be pronounced ' _schläft_.'"

"It is?"

"Yeah. You pronounced it like a regular long a.' Those dots over the a'? They're called an umlaut.' You pronounce the letter like it was a cross between a' and e'. _Schläft_.'"

"I'm sorry."

"It's...it's okay. You mostly did really good for a first time."

" _D-danke schon_."

"Don't press your luck, Shinji." She might have been smiling when she said that. Maybe not, but at least she wasn't crying. "You say ' _Danke schön_ ,' or _'Vielen Dank_ ,' or just _'Danke_.' And I say, ' _Bitte_.'"

"Then what do I say?"

"Nothing. You don't have to say anything more."

"How about if I say _'Frohlich..._ '"

Asuka did smile that time. He was certain that he heard it. "Why don't you leave _'Fröhliche Weihnachten_ ' for the advanced German class?"

"I-I'll do that."

Another voice crackled into the conversation. "Hey, Shinji, next time you're going to sing, tell me in advance. I can bring my guitar."

"A-Aoba?" Shinji blushed, remembering that his conversations over the radio were considerably less than private.

"Yeah. It'll be great. It's the BEST way to impress your girlfriend."

"I'm NOT his..." / "She's NOT my..."

"Hey, people, I said no more chatter on this frequency as of now, got it?" Misato's voice cut in over the voice of the pilots. "Stand by for orders."

Releasing the transmit button for a moment, she gave a look of death to Aoba. "This is the first time they've been civil to each other in days. If you tease them again, Shigeru, so help me, I'll send you out by yourself with a baseball bat to fight the next angel." Hyuuga snickered at Aoba's discomfiture. Out of their sight, Misato smiled. What a relief. Thank you, Shinji.

Misato turned to Maya. "Okay, what's the latest word?"

"Major, with current information, the Magi calculate the odds of the current phenomenon being an angel at less than one-hundredth of one percent. They're unanimous in downgrading from alert status."

Misato snorted. "And thus ends the most boring alert incident on record." 'Well, at least the kids stopped fighting,' she wisely kept to herself.

"May I assume, then, that you'd prefer something with a little more excitement?" came a voice from behind her. Misato spun around to see an enigmatically smiling Fuyutsuki.

"Not really, commander. May I ask why you're here? I thought you were incommunicado."

"I returned earlier than expected. Let's say that I just couldn't stay away on a holiday."

Misato folded her arms. "This was an elaborate drill, wasn't it commander? Or a dummy operation. You arranged for the Magi to simulate an emergency, and you were here to observe."

"Can neither confirm nor deny, Major. Let's just say I'm here to grant some Christmas wishes."

Misato chuckled. "Pay raise? More time off?"

Fuyutsuki handed her a flat, giftwrapped box. "How about a box of chocolates? And an extra twenty-four hours to have the incident reports filed."

"I'll take them. Of course, if there was something I really wanted..." Misato looked across the control room, to where Aoba, Hyuuga, and Maya were talking amongst themselves. "Peace on Earth, goodwill to men." 'I can't believe I said something that sappy to my boss,' she thought.

Fuyutsuki stood silent for a moment. "That's the most popular translation of Luke 2:14," he said with a rather jaded smile, "but probably not the most accurate."

"Oh?"

"'On Earth, peace among those whom God favors,'" Fuyutsuki quoted, then chuckled mirthlessly. "'Those whom God favors.' Somehow, I doubt that's us. Goodnight, Major."

* * *

The ride home was quiet. The adrenaline rush that relief brings had long since worn off, and Shinji and Asuka were asleep in the car. Misato chuckled to see the two leaning into each other. Asuka's head reclined against Shinji's chest. 'If they were awake, they'd probably be fighting...there's no way Asuka would ever let Shinji get that close to her if they were awake.'

'Oh yeah, the CD.' she thought. 'I brought it out to the car this morning, didn't I?'

Back on her previous trip to Germany, it had also been Christmas time. While she was there, on an impulse, she had bought a CD of seasonal music. She hadn't played it since because...well, Christmas wasn't the same in Japan. But this year...

She pushed the CD into the car stereo.

It was a strange sound...a choir of boys, their voices not yet changed. Totally pure and innocent. Singing words she did not understand.

_O du fröhliche, O du selige,_

_Gnadenbringende Weihnachtszeit!_

_Welt ging verloren, Christ ist geboren._

_Freue, freue dich, O Christenheit!_

The car continued into the night.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally written in 2001 for a Christmas fanfiction contest. It came in third.
> 
> Subsequently, I posted it to ff.net in 2002, and deleted it in 2003. I reposted it in 2011, and here it is 2016, and I'm posting it to AO3.
> 
> This is very slightly revised from the original-nothing major, just fixing a few grammatical mistakes and a poorly-worded passage here and there.
> 
> If this was too angsty for you, may I recommend my story 'Snow Angels'? I wrote it alongside this story as a drama antidote.
> 
> This fic is meant to take place sometime after the Second Child arrives in Tokyo-3, but before the discovery of the identity of the Fourth Child. (Ideally, sometime after episode 12 but before episode 14). I may be fudging things by having Christmas fall sometime in this time period, and other things, like Misato's promotion, but that's the risk I take. _So ist halt das Leben_.
> 
> The two German songs: Shinji sings "Stille Nacht," the song we know as "Silent Night." The final song at the end is another German carol, "O du fröhliche," which does not have an equivalent in English, as far as I know. Asuka "Not good, not bad, just nice" line was inspired by Stephen Sondheim's "Into the Woods."
> 
> Big thanks: FishStomp, Arcturus, WillZ, and the many denizens I converse with on various IRC channels and message boards. And thank you for reading!
> 
> Merry Xmas, and peace on Earth.


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